Sometimes I hear young people talking and I think, yep they have to
overcome a great deal in their life. Recently the news
has had several articles about resilience and why some people overcome life
challenges and some cannot cope.
I think that as our society moves forward we will be facing
more and more issues that will need resilience from our young and support from
adults. My questions are, what happens
to children when the support in their family might not be there for them? As a person that blogs mostly about
education, I fear that educators have been carrying more and more weight on their
shoulders because of the decline in family support and continued reliance on
government and social systems for help.
Growing up, my family had pretty much what we needed when I
was a young child. Later on, there was
difficulty in our home, and there were financial struggles. I will not go into detail because I know that
it is hard and hurtful for some of my family.
What I can reveal is that as children we received our survival skills
and resilience from our mother. She was
a strong fighter and she worked very hard until the stress of her life made her
very sick. During the hard times
my family lived with very little. Her example of working extremely hard taught myself and
my siblings to also have pretty good work ethic and to be advocates for ourselves. (My friends that saw me retire
early might argue with that. ;-) )
When I was 19 (between my freshman and sophomore year in
college) I got a job for the summer working in a factory. I was sooooo happy. It paid a bit more than minimum wage. I worked days and nights in rotation. When I started there, the job made me know
that this was a great way to get money to go to college but I did not want to
continue this assembly work for my whole life.
I did not have a car so a road my bike from my aunt’s house to work on a
daily basis. (She let many of her nieces
and nephews live with her throughout her life.
A life blessing that we all cherish.)
One month and one week into my new great job something bad
happened.
I worked in the pit of a factory assembly that was very
automated. Sometimes when there were
repairs on the line things had to be manually handled. One day, I was manually pushing the item we
made onto the line and plugging them in to the carts they were placed on to
move to the next station. While pushing the product I got my leg caught in a conveyer belt system.
I started screaming, of course the factory was loud with the noise of
assembly, sometimes people goofed around and spoke loud, so it took a while for
someone to stop the line. The controls
to stop the system were at my station in the pit, and I was not there. When someone finally heard my screams and the
line had stopped; 18 inches of the 8 foot cart had squished by my left leg.
It is funny how you remember odd things, but this is what I
remember and I am telling you because trauma does different things to
everyone. I do not remember the pain but
I do remember going into humor mode.
Several people came to my side and removed the equipment, the foreman
was one of them. I did not look at or see my
leg and I know now that it was by design of these people. When the foreman was going to lift me to the
walkway my first comment was, “Let me walk, I am too heavy for you.” It was self deprecating humor and I did not know that I would not have been able to walk on my leg.
When the emergency crew came I remember two young men
teasing me to ease my mood. I remember thinking they were very cute and I
am sure I told them so. (remember
19) They immediately, cut my brand new
jeans (Levi's, one day old, I asked them to stop, I really did) up my and leg and put my leg in a blow up
cast to secure it, took my vitals and I was off. I
often wish as an adult I would be able to meet those then, young men and thank them
for their kindness that day. I know
emergency personnel are trained for those moments but they and their work really do stay in
people’s hearts for a long time.
While in the E.R. my amazing doctor said, “Get an x-ray.”
Not seeing my leg, I casually said, “I didn’t break it.” His response was, “You had to have broken
it.” It was not broken. He was so surprised and pleased because this
made the healing so much easier. He
later told me that because I road my bike everyday my muscles really protected
my bones from a break. During all of this I never realized I was hurt badly.
What did happen? I
crushed my leg, fat tissue poured out of my calf, and my skin was scraped
off.
My nurse aunt came to the hospital with my
young cousin who was like a little sister.
She conferred with the doctor and before I knew it I was in
surgery. I had a blood clot and would
have to face skin graft as soon as the swelling was down. That skin was taken from my thigh. I did not see my leg until three weeks into the hospital stay.
While in the hospital I went to surgery nine times. I was in the hospital one month. During that time I was promised I would be
released for one day to go to my Grandparents 50th anniversary. I was never released for that one day due to infection.
I remember several things from that stay. One was my strong, fighting mothers
face. She tried so hard to act as if
things were not a big deal because for me they really were not, I did not think
there would be issues. I trusted the medical teams so fully that facing added trouble never crossed my mind.
When I was an adult my mother informed me that my leg was so
badly infected that they were considering cutting it off.
I recovered through several months of therapy always
ignorant to what happened behind closed doors.
I went camping with my friends that summer; not allowed to go in or near
the water. I went back to college. I was different though. I knew deep down that I was lucky.
I learned to live life fully, to embrace life with zest and
passion. But I also learned that
sometimes you just can’t do everything right.
Sometimes you are not perfect, but giving up should not be an option.
Have I always hit those targets in the bull’s eye? Nope.
I am not perfect.
I have also learned that some people are naturally resilient;
some need to be coached to be
resilient, to be able to comeback from a tough situation with strength.
I do know that my mom gave me whatever strength I have through her example of hard work and love. She was the glue in my
life that always showed me the path to move forward.
Did I have issue as a teen?
Oh yes I did, I was needy, very needy;
but I did have resilience.
I have included a link to you tube that a young teacher
recorded after a sleepless night. It
amazingly expresses the feelings of a teacher….for me it is dead on.
I have included two links.
One is the original and one is by a group of teachers inspired by the original.
With love, from your retired FACS teacher, Jane
And I hope you find your students energetic and resilient.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O7v4EJjx-g&spfreload=10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3w_Zs1c6MU
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This is what I ended up with. So much better than a peg leg!!!! |