This is a touchy subject and it has taken me a year to finally blog about this specific situation. I can honestly say it makes me nervous because it is so, so sensitive. I have seen the horror of children feeling bad and left out because of race, weight, popularity and learning disabilities. There are so many ways for children to be hurt emotionally and feel bad about themselves.
Last year when I was subbing for the person that took my job I was doing the usual handing out fabric samples, explaining their properties and what they are normally used for in clothing construction.
When I was talking about fabric nap I mentioned black hair and the term nappy. I did it because it always a difficult term for students to comprehend. I thought using a term that most students were familiar with would help in understanding. One student in the room was not happy about my reference. To be honest I was dumb founded. I know that sounds ignorant, but I am sure that I am ignorant in many instances with modern culture do's and don'ts. (And I know that ignorance is not a good reason for doing something.)
I grew up in the 70's when civil rights was at it's peak. Fashion emulated the "peasant" look, which I embraced and it was "cool" to have an Afro. I have very straight hair it was all that, at the time, to get a perm and have those tight curls stand up and be sculpted on your head. In fact, I tried, I got a perm, I would have done anything to have a good Afro. It was not pretty but I followed the trend in my small town with not one black person but the Lutheran minister's adopted child. So you see, I. love. nappy. hair.
Anyway, I mentioned to my former co-workers that a student was upset with me because I mentioned nappy hair when referring to nap. They each looked at me funny and didn't understand how I could possibly use this term in class. I never really told them what the comments were because it was a student and I am the adult. If I make someone uncomfortable I should apologize and make things right. I sought out the student and tried to talk to her about it but she was still not happy with me and I felt bad. I knew her well from my previous year of teaching and we had a good relationship.
The thing that I never told my co workers was that the first comment out of her mouth was, "Would you point out a white persons blond, greasy, stringy hair?" And my first thought was, yes. In fact, I use self deprecating humor all of the time and that pretty much described my hair at the time. (Well not the greasy part, I do shower.)
But, what made me sad was that this child thought her hair was not good enough. Our society has made straight hair the "look" to have and it is simply ridiculous to believe that straight hair is the best.
The conversation upset me so much I did some online research and found a blog written by a young lady. She wore a t-shirt that said, "It is a nappy hair kind of day", a white man asked her, "Isn't that considered racist?"
There were many comments on the blog and most of them said that it depended on the context and who was saying it. No real conclusion was formed.
There is no right or wrong answer to the situation. At the time I asked the, "two" black adults in the building about the situation. (yes I said two) The one that was my age said she didn't think it was a big deal and the one that was in his early twenties laughed and said loud with a chuckle, "Oh you do not talk about that with girls, you will have trouble."
But my question to all of this is; Is it racist to point out people's differences? Can I talk about different cultures with out being racist? Can I talk about people's eyes without being racist? Can I talk about religion? Why is pointing out a difference racist? I can answer this specific question. I am sure it was the term that I used and I will not do it again if I am ever in the situation.
Several times in my classroom I found black students talking about and comparing student skin color. I have always put a stop to it because it never ended well. Someone would always feel better and worse in the situation. I mentioned this to a black friend and she said, "Why does it bother you? We do this." I was surprised and disagree with its acceptance.
I am bringing this up today because I brought up race the other day while subbing because we had a heated discussion, in my family, about the "nude" bra color. (Something for another blog.) Whenever I bring up race with my former co-workers there is silence like they know a secret about me. I keep talking they just sit in silence. Honestly, what is the secret? Do they think that I don't know that I say things that are not politically correct? Yes, I do. Everyone does. But it does not mean that I am not always aware of the fact that racism still exists in our society and sometimes in my social circle. You can not be a part of education in a metropolitan area without being aware of racial tone.
I know that we can not act like everyone has been treated equally, for the last 40 years, because it just is not true. I know that there is white privilege. But I also know that everyone has a story and if you don't know the whole story they should not be judged. Sometimes it's o.k. to notice that I am white and my cousins husband is from Mexico or my nephews wife is black. You can dislike the President's politics but still think he is a good guy. I can dislike some of the food my neighbor eats because it is not my cultural norm. That is the beauty of the United States. We are all different. Now.....if we could and would just all accept each other, and ourselves, as we are....that would be lovely.
Things are just not cut and dried, right or wrong, pink or blue, etc. Society needs to keep working together and figure out how to educate children to be kind, productive citizens in society and hopefully as educators we can reflect that behavior back to them as an example.
With Love,
Your retired FACS teacher,
Jane
P.S. On another note that is somewhat related. I recently went to Jamaica. My friend read about a new museum in Montego Bay. We went to visit it and it was so interesting. It was the history of the island including slavery and how they overcame the slavery. It was very emotional but well done and I highly recommend a visit there if you are in the area.
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