When a young couple has children it is very important to make those children your focus, develop rituals with them, have consistent discipline for them and have fun with them. If you are part of a couple, you also need to make each other the most important thing in your life.
Sometimes when I tell young partners that their relationship needs to continually be nurtured they look at me like I am funny in the head. When I got married in the Catholic church we were required to take a marriage course. I of course thought that it was a waste of time but it really was nice. During those meetings we took the time to really think about our personal relationship and our future. There was one quote I remember very vividly; "If you take care of each other and your relationship everything else will fall into place."
I personally believe this to be true. Many couples wrap themselves in their career, children, activities and then if there is time they try to take care of their relationship. If you put each other first it can prevent indifference, loneliness, and anger.
Many couples learn to live in the same house while their children are home and often find their need for each other does not exist once their children have grown. If you take time for each other and keep open communication lines your life will be much better in all aspects. This might mean less nights out with the boys or not as many week-ends with the girls but it will keep your relationship strong.
Look at your relationship from the outside. If you feel something might be missing, pause and examine what you can do to build it back up to what it once was in the beginning.
Many years ago a friend of mine found his wife kissing one of his very good friends. He was of course very sad. They have four children and he thought they had a pretty good relationship. I asked him if he thought he treated his wife and their relationship with the same importance he did when they were dating or first married. He never really answered the question but I new a light bulb went on for him. They had a great deal to repair but they are still married. I know it was not easy for either of them to fix their home but they did and it was worth it.
Our bike trip to Niagara Falls Marriage is work but it is also fun. Growing up and old together can be a lifetime of pleasure.
With Love from your FACS teacher,
Jane
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